Journal 3: Old fears

Somethings that I used to be afraid of was playing the piano in front of people. Of course, most pianists become nervous before their performance or while they are performing. But playing the piano in front of people scared me since when I was in middle school. I was scared of making mistakes while I am playing. I guess I put too much focus on making the mistakes and stick to making my performance technically perfect and follow the teacher's indication without my own unique opinion.

However as you know human cannot be perfect especially when performing complicated peice. But I did not want to accept those things and just wanted to be a perfectionist, in some ways the school made me think of that kinds of idea making the competition fierce betweent students.

After entered the university, fortunately my proffesor helps me to change my way of thinking. Gradually I started to focus on understanding the composer who wrote that pieces and my own music for my performance not the mistakes and technical difficulties. Once I changed my mind, these kinds of thinking drives me to more relaxed and feel comfortable about performance in front of people. I face my fears by thinking differently and focusing on the positive side which
I am having. In addition, I overcame it by believeing myself which is I am creating my own music in logical way that can move someone's feeling and deliver some messages whatever it might be.